Silencio. Taken Zozocolco de Hidalgo, Veracruz-Llave, MX.

“La Palabra es Plata, el Silencio Oro.”

Dicho Translation: “Words are silver, silence is gold.”

Remember that antes que metas la pata, remember that before you give your opinion otra vez. Remember that before you plug-in to something electronic again.

Silence. Still. Zen. No patas in mouths.

Nice, right?

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Un poquito mas:

1. Dicho: No Hay Mal …
2. Today’s Dicho: Live Large (Video)
3. Ride the Gold Line in East LA: Latinland USA

Vanessa's Flan Cubano

A Latina Never Forgets…her First Flan

It could be argued, I did not fully embrace my Cuban-American identity until I made my first flan.

I was around 28, un poco vieja for a Cuban kid from Miami to be making a first flan. Pero, I had been afraid of failing. It looked so hard to make…and so easy to just buy.

Pero, in Nashville, back then, I couldn’t just buy flan. Plus, it was a shame that my gringo husband made an awesome flan.

Que pena!

And so, I dove in.

The hardest part was making the caramel. I failed so often. For reasons still unknown to me, the sugar and water combo failed to caramelize. I stood at my stove stirring and stirring and stirring and all I usually got was a bubbling, clear liquid so hot I feared losing skin if I touched it.

Or, the caramel burned.

Que peste!

I don’t stir it much anymore and at last, I know just when to remove it from the stove.

But, for years, I faked caramel by layering brown sugar in the pan before pouring in the egg and milks mixture. A cheat taught to me by Oscar, my genius partner at Los Pollitos Dicen.

Those first flans were made with fear, but they were delicious, even if they were not truly authentic. Now, around here, I am famous for my traditional Cuban flan. Oh yes, I am.

Do You Remember Your First Flan?

I asked other Latina friends about their first flans, and got a fabulous variety of answers, plus some recipes to make awesome desserts.

So, grab a cafecito because, aqui vamos.

My First Flan

Flan y Cubanas. We go together like el gordo and cake. My childhood was no different, especially during the holidays. We’d feast, talk and when it was time for desert, an elderly women would retreat to the kitchen and emerge with the most glorious vision to be seen: flan! That golden custard, smooth as a baby’s bottom and without even a single crack, was the evening’s trophy. But how were these mysterious creations made? From what I can tell, you just opened the frig and there they were! There was no slaving over the stove top, chopping countless ingredients. So, this year, when it was time to host my very first Noche Buena, I decided to figure out the mystery. I finally made my first flan.

Even if I did cheat with a box of Goya, I was proud to be Cubana while watching my family devour the rookie flan. But the creme de la crepe came when that wiggly little thing successfully plopped itself, in one piece, onto the serving platter. What a glorious feeling!

As I whispered to all my Cuban ancestors, delicately tapping the bottom of my baking dish, I held my breathe as I revealed one solid piece of custard. I am officially a bonafide Cubana!

Flan y Cubanas and me. We just go together.

Vanessa of De Su Mama

I Only Eat My Own Flan

“I never liked Flan until I made it myself. OMG! It’s so good. But I only eat it when I make it because I find that many people make it to “eggy” or to “Jello-y.” Does that make sense? I posted my first & only Flan recipe back in 2009. It’s rich and creamy.

Lisa Perez of New York Chica

Once Fearful of Burning the Sugar

I was always afraid to make flan because I would burn the sugar or not get it right at all… till Daisy Martinez showed me. I was so afraid when I tried it at home by myself for Thanksgiving in 2011 but I got it right! I was SO proud of myself. My family nom nom’d it all up.

Rachel White of Digital Latina.

Caramel on the Floor

The first time I made Roxana´s MIL flan de queso it came out perfect. The second time I was a bit too confident and the caramel-making process became a disaster. I have no idea what I did, but all I remember is it all fell onto my kitchen floor and I spent the next hours scraping caramel off the floor!

Ana Flores of Spanglish Baby

Flan is Good for the Ego

I made my first flan at 10 or 11-years-old. I thought it was dead easy because all the ingredients went into the blender and then into the baking pan.
My mother helped with the caramel and the water bath, though, and the flan was a huge success. From that day on, I am convinced that everything I cook is a hit…lol… It was good for my young ego.

Morena Cuadra of Peru Delights

Gave Up On First Flan

My first flan was Christmas Eve 2001. I remember it clearly because the whole evening was a disaster. The water bath was too high and started boiling and spilling all over the oven. When I tried to pull it out of the oven I burned myself. I ended up leaving the flan on the stove – I gave up on it, because we were late for the late night Christmas Eve church service.

We arrived at church, only to have my younger son, (then not even 2-months-old), projectile vomit all over the row of nicely dressed people in front of us during the very beautiful candlelight service. We left early, obviously, but the baby continued to get sick all over the car and wouldn’t stop.

We spent the rest of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at the hospital. (My parents picked up our older son and took him to their house. He cried, worried Santa wouldn’t know where to bring his gifts.) The baby was okay in the end – a healthy 10-year-old today, but because of everything that transpired that evening, I’ll never forget my first flan.

Tracy López of Latinaish

Cheater’s Flan

My First Flan was courtesy of my lying, cheating boyfriend at Yale. Called Cheater’s Flan. The relationship didn’t last but the flan did and over the years, I baked the cheater out of it, making it my signature dish!

Viviana of The Wise Latina Club

Sometimes, You Use Box Flan

I think I used the Goya box too – maybe? But there were eggs, something about whisking, and I burned the sugar… I don’t even remember. Then there was some upsidedown-ness I had to do… gosh it was like 100 years ago. It was during my dessert-phase.

Li of Her Deep Thoughts

Maybe It’s Photoshop?

I recently made my first flan (intento de quesillo) and though it came out looking good – caramel making was a disaster. When I told my 80-year-old grandmother about it she laughed. I showed her a picture and told her “But look how good it came out!” she said: “That’s probably photoshop!” PLOP!

Helena of Pink Guayoyo

First Flan: What’s the Worst that Can Happen?

Success!

To be honest I had never even made a flan before and always left the flan making to my sister. But being that I had some pumpkin puree leftover I figured why not. It’s only a few ingredients and what’s the worst that can happen?

Yvette Marquez-Sharpnack of Muy Bueno Cookbook on her Tres Leches Pumpkin Flan

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Un poquito mas:

1. A Match Made in Heaven = Flan + Cake
2. Café Flan Recipe
3. Dulce de Leche de Tia

Hablas el Spanish?

This poll is for the second- and third- and plus-generation Latinos who were born, or have grown up, in the United States.

Inspired by the story in February’s Latina magazine titled, Are We Losing Our Language?

It appears many of us are.

Only 38 percent of third-generation Latinos in the U.S. — those of us with abuelitos born elsewhere — can speak Spanish proficiently. However, 79 percent of the second generation — those of us with foreign-born parents — are proficient. Those stats are from the story, as found in a Pew Hispanic Center survey.

My mother and grandparents immigrated from Cuba to Miami 10 years before I was born. I find myself searching for words, and worrying I may totally mess up my Miami Spanish, when I speak to a native speaker from Central and South America. And, my daughter — third generation — is way less proficient at Spanish than I was at her age.

Though we spoke Spanish to our older relatives when they were living, I find I communicate mostly in English with my cousins and relatives. Not so much Spanish, anymore.

Here’s a column by Monique Frausto, a non-Spanish-speaking Mexican-American, that goes to the heart of the Latina magazine story.

So, how are you feeling about your Spanish?

Dimelo.

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Un poquito mas:

1. On the Menu: Grilled Spanish Bacalao
2. Musica, Sofia, Spanish Buzz and Giveaways
3. Spanish Slang, Sayings, Palabras, Dichos

Our Mother/Daughter "Gratitude and Goals" book

Keeping the Resolution to Connect

On most evenings before tuck-in now in 2012, my daughter and I sit on her bed, open a fat, blank book and list our “Gratitude and Goals.”

Simple gratitude for the day that has been, and goals for mañana.

We’re doing it to exercise a muscle I want her to develop into adulthood. The one that gives you faith and patience, hope and “Si se puede.”

And, I won’t lie, to lay the foundation for a tradition that will keep us talking, keep us connected and sharing stories at the end of the day.

We talk a lot now, this daughter of mine and I. Mostly, in the car is when the big questions and conversations happen — everything from her learning to say words-you-don’t-say and why, how families are created and what she’d do if she owned a zoo. Stuff like that.

I imagine that one day, she won’t want to talk to me as much. First, there is the adolescence que me da susto, and second, my daughter is a writer in bloom. No surprise there, with two writers for parents. But, writers can be solitary and moody. (Yes, even those of us who don’t mind putting their crazy on YouTube.)

At the end of the day, when we sit to write in our shared book, this 8-year-old shows me what she has written in her own journal. I keep wondering when her journal will become off-limits to me.

So, as she grows and creates the story of her own life, I want her one day to look at the pages we wrote together and remember not just the moments we wrote about, but the connection that created the words on those pages.

I can hope, anyway.

Y tu?

How do you share stories of your day to day, or of your childhood, with your child?
Do you keep a journal to record the story of your life?

Disclosure: This del alma is sponsored by Hallmark and the Life is a Special Occasion campaign. To receive notices on Hallmark products and special offers sign up for the newsletter.

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Un poquito mas:

1. Coming to America – My Story
2. My Birth Story, Naturally.
3. Share Your Gratitude and Gratitud

OK, we are a little bit addicted to these Things People Say videos on YouTube, and watching them has brought up stuff people have said to me and others about being Latina, about being a cubanita.

So, here is Sh*t Guys Say to Cuban Girls and a playlist of videos we’ve put together of the best of these with Latin flavor. (And by the way, more than half of what’s in the video has been said to me directly.)

You must, must watch the MTV Tr3s video about Abuelas located in the playlist below. I nearly tinkled in my pantalones. That Abuela has to be a cubana!

De Madre!

Sh*t Guys Say to Cuban Girls

A Things People Say Playlist con Sabor

We have created a list of videos on this topic that have made us laugh…and check out the Abuelas!

and if you missed the previous video:

Caca that Cubans Say

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Un poquito mas:

1. Caca that Cubans Say (Video) NSFW
2. Crazy Cuban Anti-Aging Trick (Video)
3. The Most Cuban Person You’ll Ever Meet

Have you seen all those funny videos “Shit White Girls Say to Black Girls“; “Shit Spanish Girls Say?”; “Shit Gay Southern Guys Say?”

How about “Shit Salvadorans Say” by a favorite Tiki Tiki contributor and writer, Tracy Lopez?

They’ve all been a spinoff of the popular YouTube series starring actress Juliette Lewis.

Well, I got to thinking about it and my people, the Cubans, talk about caca a lot. So, in honor of viral videos about shit things people say, here is Shit Cubans Say.

*And I apologize for the S-word. We usually it muy clean here…and using mierda so much isn’t what I like to do online…pero mama, it’s just too fun right now. It’s all in good comedy. Or Act-ing!

Maybe the next one needs to be Sh*t Cuban Parents Say?

Below is a little collection of videos to the theme that are pretty funny.

Sh*t Salvadorans Say

Sh*t Spanish Girls Say

(listen for the Maaaaaa!)

Sh*t Latina Girls Say

(with abuelitas in appearance)

Sh*t White Girls Say to Black Girls: 2

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Un poquito mas:

1. Tiki Tiki video: Mi Mama invento el Cappuccino
2. Latino Video Dichonary
3. Spanish Tips for Semi-Latinas (Video)

There are more people living in the one Miami subdivision where my parents live than in the whole of my little town outside of Nashville, Tennessee.

And except for the nice family who owns the local Mexican restaurant, and the woman from Spain, and maybe one other Cuban I have heard of, but haven’t met, there aren’t too many of what the government calls “Hispanics” in my tiny corner of the Boonies.

So, when the Census Bureau forms came out, it was important to me to be counted as Hispanic. And to count my daughter, who like me is half gringita. (Though, technically that makes her officially less than half Cuban.) But, when it comes to identification as a Latin, there are no rules, only self-identification matters.

I tell you this because this past week I found a national story and a university study about racial and ethnic identification among Hispanic-Americans and Latinos that struck me. Both of the stories said many of us, as a population, are not identifying as Hispanic on the census, or at all.

For one reason, we see ourselves made up of more than one race (more than one little box). How do you pick one race when your bloodstream potentially has everything from Spanish to African to Indian to Chinese?

And secondly, the deeper our roots are — second, third-plus generations — the less likely we are to self-identify as Hispanic/Latino. We become just “white” or “black” or “other.”

The case could be made that my little daughter and I could, or should, just check “non-Latino white.” But for me, that wouldn’t be right spiritually and emotionally. I am not sure how my daughter will check her own box when she’s an adult.

Ethnic Attrition

But, here is what the University of Southern California study I found said about the second, third-generations (like my daughter and me) not checking the box:

“As a result of some Latinos’ propensity to not check the Hispanic race box on the census, a correct analysis of Hispanic achievement and mobility in America is undermined.”

According to the USC survey, approximately 44.1 million U.S. residents declared Hispanic or Latin-American roots, but 2.5 million did not check the “Hispanic” box on the 2010 Census.

The New York Times yesterday published a great story titled “For Many Latinos, Racial Identity is More Culture than Color.” It quoted a 2011 survey of Mexican-Americans that found that the parents of “more than a quarter of third-generation children with Mexican ancestry do not identify their children as Latino on census forms.”

Much of the “ethnic attrition” happens when Mexican-Americans marry non-Mexican or non-Hispanic whites, the story said. Additionally, the story said, it fails to show the economic and social progress of Mexican-Americans in America.

From the USC study, assistant sociology professor Jody Agius Vallejo:

“Scholars and politicians question whether and to what extent Latinos are assimilating. Some Latinos are not identifying as Latino and disappearing into the population.

People with Latin American ancestry who do not identify as Hispanic may be a harbinger of future patterns of assimilation, but because these people are left out, we might be underestimating the extent to which Latinos are assimilating into America’s core social structures.”

The Census will forever reflect that in 2010, in my little town with a less than 1% Hispanic population, there was at least one successful, proud Cuban-American and her Hispanic daughter. And as long as I can check the box for both of us, that’s what it will say.

Y tu?

It’s tricky, right? This question of race and identity. Only further proves, to me, that holding on to la cultura is a task and a challenge, that the rewards of immigration come at a cost and, it could be argued, a loss.

So, how do you identify when someone says: What are You? What does the 2010 Census say about you?

How would you change the question on the Census?

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Un poquito mas:

1. Today Show spends week highlighting Hispanics
2. Latinos: Everywhere.
3. News about Latinos, Young and Old

Rob! is about a gringo husband in a tight-knit Mexican family.

In the first five minutes of CBS’ new ¡Rob!, we had  jokes on siestas, Catholics and their birth control — or lack — guacamole and Julio Iglesias.

Then there was the gardener with the leaf blower joke. And of course, the illegal immigrant Mexican uncle.

I haven’t felt this regretful about watching something on TV since The Real Housewives of Miami stole hours I never can recover.

Did you watch it?

Maybe it is worth watching just to learn what some TV executives really think about Latinos in America.

I would suggest every single person involved in the show sit down and watch some Que Pasa, USA? Thirty-plus years later and it still is the champ at portraying the funny and crazy of culture clashes with truth and passable stereotype.

I’ll leave the rest of the reviews to the professionals.

And, I’ll watch again…and hope…and likely, regret.

But lastly, why Cheech Marin, why? Why Lupe Ontiveros, why?

Reviews on ¡Rob!

Los Angeles Times: “Rob’s culture shock turns into schlock.”

No doubt there is a grain of truth in the absurd tensions that fuel “Rob” — the overwhelming and sometimes invasive tendencies of a large family, the real cultural differences “mixed” couples encounter, the revelations of early marriage — but Schneider clearly does not think his audience is sophisticated enough to deal with anything more nuanced than Frito-Bandito slapstick.

USA Today: “What’s bad about Rob? The whole enchilada.”

There can be no question that Latinos, the nation’s largest ethnic minority group, are underserved by and under-represented on network TV. So yes, what a shame that the comedy Rob (* out of 4, CBS, Thursday, 8:30 ET/PT), starring Rob Schneider as a man who marries into a Mexican-American family, plays less like a gift meant to appease these neglected viewers then as a weapon meant to silence them. It’s as if CBS were saying, “Keep complaining, and we’ll give you more shows like this.

Time: CBS’s ¡Rob!, Why It ¡Stinks!, and How Not to Do Race on a Sitcom.

When a show like ¡Rob! makes gardener jokes or 2 Broke Girls makes its Asian manager a nerd who mangles English, on the other hand, they’re not drawing on any real experience of life as it exists today. In fact, they’re going out of their way not to: the whole point of this kind of easy, hack-y joke is that you write them so that a viewer can get the jokes without knowing anything about another culture beyond decades-old clichés, based on other TV shows. You don’t have to know anything about what’s changed in America since All in the Family; you don’t have to have any awareness of Latinos since Chico and the Man.

from Twitter during the show

 Que Pasa, USA? videos

To cleanse the palate.

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No related posts.

So, NBA star Michael Jordan announced an engagement to Yvette Prieto, a pretty Cubanita model from Miami he’s been dating for three years

My first thought was, “Welcome to la Familia, Michael.”

My second was: “Ay, madre. Cubans! Does he know what he’s getting into?”

My gringo husband thought the same thing: “El Pobre!”

Now, a disclaimer. I know nothing about the lovely Yvette Prieto, nor do I know anything about her Cuban family. They could be completely sane and quiet as Midwestern Presbyterians, for all I know. But, I do know Cuban families, and the odds are que son de madre!

By the by, his ex-wife, Juanita, is Puerto Rican, so he may know some of this stuff. But, surely not all. Cubans, well…they’re a special category of crazy fab.

So, with that in mind, here, for Michael — or any other person in love with a Cuban or Cuban-American with mucha familia:

Tips For Marrying into A Cuban Family

• Know Enough Spanish to Know When They’re Talking About You. Learn to say: “No Hablo, pero Entiendo.” (That one comes directly from my gringo, semi-fluent husband to you.)
• Learn To Speak About The Bearded Dictator with the Same Venom You Reserved For The Detroit Pistons. Learn to use only dirty, nasty adjectives before his name, and after. And please, never, ever say: “Well, at least they have free health care.” (Te cortan la lengua!)
•  If You Thought Arenas were Loud, You’ve Never Hung Out With Cubans during Any Gathering. Get used it.
• Understand that Your Future Wife Isn’t Screaming at You or Her Relatives — She’s Speaking Cuban. Heaven help you if you accuse her of screaming when she doesn’t think she is. (Have you seen Gloria/Sofia Vergara on Modern Family? Yeah, like that.)
•  You Know Nothing About Lechon. At least not in the Cuban relatives’ eyes. Admit that, know that, and all will be well. So, don’t even think of giving the men advice when they’re roasting a puero. Repeat after me: “I Know Nothing About Lechon.” OK. Good.
• A bonus: Love on the Tias. All 27 of them. Even the ones that aren’t really Tias by blood. Tell them they smell good, que lindas estan, that they cook so rico, rico, rico. If the Tias are on your side, you’re golden. Forever. If not, you’ll get more grief than when you shot an air ball in L.A.

Call me, or my gringo husband, if you need any more tips or you need help figuring out la gente.

Oh, and Congratulations!

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Un poquito mas:

1. Hispanic Holiday Celebrations: Loud and De Familia

Dulce de Leche Cheerios Snack Bars

Dulce de leche, a staple deliciousness in the Latin American diet, is not a well-kept secret anymore.

For goodness sakes, it is as main stream as salsa. It’s everywhere.

The latest evidence: Cheerios, a cereal as American as apple pie, has introduced a bright box of dulce de leche flavored toasted oaties.

This news is kind of bigger than when Starbucks introduced the dulce de leche latte; bigger than Haagen Daz and its yummy dulce de leche caramel ice cream; and way bigger than dulce de leche Pop Tarts. But, maybe not bigger than the iconic Girl Scouts adding dulce de leche cookies.

The CEO of General Mills, which makes Cheerios, said in a conference call last month: “This caramel-flavored cereal features a taste profile that’s popular with Hispanic consumers, but we think it will have broad appeal.”

So you see, dulce de leche: It’s not just for Latinos anymore.

So, what to do with a whole box of dulce de leche Cheerios — which we know you’re going to buy just to try and see if they’re as good as you hope? Well, make desserts and treats, claro.

Reprinted here, with permission from Betty Crocker’s people, are two recipes that use dulce de leche Cheerios as a main ingredient.

And if you have to ask: What is dulce de leche? Well, dear, it is something way better than any caramel you’ve ever had. Ever.

Dulce de Leche No Bake Snack Bars

Ingredients

• 4 cups Dulce de Leche Cheerios cereal
• ½ cup dried banana chips
• ½ cup roasted whole almonds
• ½ cup roasted salted hulled pumpkin seeds (pepitas)
• ½ cup sweetened dried cranberries

Syrup

• ½ cup packed light brown sugar
• ¼ cup honey
• 1 tablespoon butter
• ¼ teaspoon salt

Spray 13 x 9-inch pan with cooking spray. In large bowl, mix cereal, banana chips, almonds, pepitas and cranberries; set aside.

In 1-quart saucepan, heat all syrup ingredients over low heat, stirring occasionally, until butter is melted and sugar is dissolved. Pour over cereal mixture; gently toss to coat. Press in pan; cool 30 minutes. For bars, cut into 5 rows by 3 rows. Store tightly covered.

Makes 15 bars

Each bar has 160 calories; 45 of which are from fat. Total fat is 5g; 1.5 g from saturated fat and no trans fats.

Dulce de Leche Cheesecake

Dulce de Leche No-Bake Cheese Cake

Crust

• 2 cups Dulce de Leche Cheerios cereal
• ⅓ cup butter, melted

Topping

• 1 pint (2 cups) whole fresh strawberries, thinly sliced
• ¼ cup sugar, optional

Cheesecake

• 1 package (8 oz) cream cheese, softened
• 1 container (8 oz) frozen whipped topping (thawed)
• ½ cup sour cream
• ¼ teaspoon vanilla

Heat oven to 350°F. Spray 9-inch glass pie plate with cooking spray.

In 1-gallon resealable food-storage plastic bag, place cereal and finely crush with a rolling pin. In small bowl, stir crushed cereal and melted butter until well mixed. Press crust firmly and evenly in bottom and 1 inch up side of pie plate. Bake 9 minutes; cool 20 minutes.

In medium bowl, stir topping ingredients until well mixed; let stand while making the cheesecake so strawberries will become juicy. In separate medium bowl, beat all cheesecake ingredients with an electric mixer on medium speed until smooth; spoon over crust. Refrigerate at least 30 minutes.

To serve, spoon topping over cheesecake slices. Cover and refrigerate any leftovers.

Makes 8 servings

1 serving contains 320 calories; 230 of which are from fat. Total fat is 26g; 16g of which are saturated fats and ½ g trans fat.

Recipes and photos from Betty Crocker. Used by permission.

How to Make Dulce de Leche

And, because we’re big into dulce de leche over here at the Tiki Tiki, be sure to check out our recipe for making your own dulce de leche using sweetened condensed milk.

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Un poquito mas:

1. Dulce de Leche de Tia
2. Dulce de Leche – How Sweet It Is
3. Que Rica Vida – Dulce de Leche Crepes