I’ve talked about this before on my other blog, Bilingual in the Boonies. My husband thinks I am way much more fun in Spanish-speaking countries — and that includes Miami.

I agree with him.

It is most obvious to me just how vanilla I can be when my family is here visiting. I hear the music in their words, notice the crazy and the pal’ carajo in their attitude. I’m a little too protestant sometimes,  if truth be told.

My father is not. Yes, he is a pain in the fotingo about whether the doors are all locked and about how quickly Maria brushes her teeth after dinner, but he’s kinda typical Cuban — pretty easy and generally joyful.

Witness Papi and Maria playing pick-up sticks. He’s not acting. He’s being himself. 100% It is why my house is very quiet when he is gone. Also notice my kid cheating her 72-year-old Abuelito in the game.

I am everlastingly grateful my kid gets regular doses of the viejos who fill her house with something besides: “Did you wash your hands?” and “Eat some more peas.”

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When I saw this video, Latina Role Model, by the artist Maya Escobar, it did for me what she intended:  Made me think hard about the ways I am seen and the ways I project myself. (If you can’t see the video, by the way, click the post headline)

Way back, I remember being surprised by young men who believed that because I was Cuban, I would quickly and joyfully be their Hot Tamale. Like, seriously? I have felt supremely insulted by that. When I have been asked why I am not more “Latin” what they really mean is why I am not more “Calientica.” Ay! That hot-cha-cha-Mami-rica perception of Latinas is strong in our American culture. But, that’s never been me. I’ve been more “The Hot-Headed Latin.”

For example, at work, when I got angry about something, it was a pretty good bet someone would say my emotion was due to my “fiery Cuban-ness.” Well, my Scottish-American relatives are just as fiery, but that side of my DNA was not ever cited.

On the flip side, I definitely enjoy breaking into accented, finger-waving, chusma Spanglish. I often do it for a laugh. It is a personification of my strong, opinionated self. It plays right into stereotype. And, I know it.

So, while I have chafed at being labeled as that “hot-headed Latin,” I have played the game too and used it when it worked for me. The hot-headed Latin can get away with saying things that the Nice Southern Girl can’t.  (I live in Nashville, remember.)

So, has your Smart Latina run up against the Sexy Latina?  What do you see when you watch Maya’s video? What does it bring up for you? Why can’t we be both Smart and Sexy? Let’s talk about this, break it down, maybe shatter some stereotypes, and bust our own too.

Here’s what Maya says about it:

I perform over-the-top representations of different identities. I group together these representations (characters) as a means of challenging limited perspectives of what women are like, and in this case, what Latina women are like.

This character is supposed to be an intellectual, accomplished, socially conscious woman- who will forever be seen as the “Sexy Latina.” The low quality video blog is meant to mock scenes in movies, where the hot high school teacher walks down the hall and all the boys undress her in their minds.

But I am not taking a negative or positive stance either. I want to question the role Latinas play in perpetuating this persona, and question if that is even a bad thing? Are we limiting ourselves by continuing to have this same conversation, even though the behavior persists, are we enforcing it by bring more attention to it?

OK, ready. Set. Go.

Habla.

Maya Escobar is a performance artist whose work has exhibited all over the world. Her identifications as a Latina-Jewish artist, dyslexic blogger, activist and educator are indexed by the blogs she keeps, the visual and textual links she posts, the books, articles, and blog posts she cites, the public comments she leaves, and the groups she joins. Maya’s site is mayaescobar.com, where you can watch her character videos.

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My grandmother, Mama, and me on her 90th Birthday.

My grandmother, a force not to be messed with, did not allow us to speak English inside her house. She wanted us to be bilingual and always said: “En la escuela ingles. En mi casa, español!”

If she caught us speaking English, she kicked us outside. So, when it is 95-degrees in Miami — and there isn’t a tree to be found for shade — you definitely do what she says and you habla habla el Spanish.  Until you’re snotty-nosed and 14, anyway.

That’s when I was on the phone with a friend, speaking English, and discovered my Mama really did understand English, even if she didn’t speak it. The truth is, what a fool was I to believe that after 20 years in the United States, and a steady diet of The Price is Right, she would be monolingual?

This video post is a recount of the story, the moment my grandmother snagged me talking about her in English. (If you can’t see the video, click the headline.)

Be sure to read our post today by Señora López, who tells the tale of speaking about her non-English-knowing Suegra.

How long do we think before La Señora gets snagged?

I’m telling you, careful with the viejas.

They know stuff.

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I have dunked my body in the turquoise waters of the Caribbean and the Mediterranean. Moments of personal Bliss and “All is right with the World” that I look back to when I need a boost during the gray days of winter. A picture of me, reveling in the magical waters of Cuba many years ago, captures the joy I feel when I wrap myself in bright blue waters.

So, to my delight the calming, escapist color turquoise has been named The Color of 2010 by the interesting people of Pantone.

“It is believed to be a protective talisman, a color of deep compassion and healing, and a color of faith and truth, inspired by water and sky,” said Leatrice Eiseman, the executive director of the Pantone Color Institute. “Through years of color word-association studies, we also find that Turquoise represents an escape to many – taking them to a tropical paradise that is pleasant and inviting, even if only a fantasy.”

Paradise. Compassion. Faith. Water. Sky. All wrapped up in one color, a color we can expect to see a lot more of in fashion and design.

Maybe this color prediction means little us on a daily basis, as we trudge through difficult and uncertain times.
But today, consider drinking in this color. Let it inspire you.

Maybe you need a momentary escape. Maybe you need to show compassion to yourself today; find new faith in the most important person — you.

Maybe turquoise — and all of its symbolism and promise — can be your talismán today.

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One of the things that I love about having two cultures is that I think it’s easier for me to add or change up traditions a bit.

For example, we no longer celebrate 3 Kings Day. It’s a little impractical for us with our school schedule. We used to get our Christmas tree on the morning of December the 24th and put it up while being intoxicated by the smell of the lechón cooking in the oven. That’s one of my very favorite Christmas memories. But alas, now I put the tree up about a week before Christmas. (I still can’t get myself to do this any earlier. It seems like rushing the magic of the holiday, but that’s not important right now.)

Yes, we still have the lechón. Not a whole one anymore. Now we just do a “pierna,” which is just enough to fit into my oven and feed my big, fat, Cuban family. With leftovers!

We always get turrones. I make lots of Crema de Vie. And I love to stuff stockings. We never had those when I was growing up, but I’ve made it one of my own family’s traditions. In fact, I shop all year for fabulous stocking stuffers, but that’s a post for another day.

One of the newer additions to our Christmas traditions is what we now call The Christmas Video. No matter that it’s actually a dvd now, it will now and forever be The Christmas Video.

This particular tradition started ten years ago when both my older kids were taking video production classes at their schools and I thought it would be fun if we could do a family slide show to show at our Noche Buena celebration. Read about how that tradition started here.

Now The Christmas Video Tradition has expanded and grown into a year-round project. I love that my extended family have not only embraced it, but now actively participate in the making of the video dvd. See?

Here is a small (30 second “commercial”) portion of one of our videos. This is where my Cuban and American cultures collide in the best possible way. Watch this:

What traditions do you keep that you grew up with? What have you added? What do you do differently? Tell me.

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One by one, each family arrives.   Some juggling diaper bags and babies, others carrying pies or cases of drinks.
Of course, they don’t knock.  There is no need.  They are my family which means this is their home. “Mi casa es su casa” and all that.

The people who are already here let out a big “Yay!” and rush to the door to greet, hug and kiss everyone.
We shout out their names.
Everyone is glad to see each other.
More hugs. More kisses.  (It’s the Cuban way.)

The babies are all passed around to be loved and held and played with.

We catch up quickly on the latest things going on in our lives and we talk (I don’t know how to do “small talk” – it seems, well, so. . . small.  Who cares what’s on tv?!?  We couldn’t enter in to a tv-related conversation anyway, because we don’t watch tv, but that’ s not important right now) and share the things that are important to us. This is the Tiki Tiki in its highest form.

We play games.  Scrabble and Rummikub and Boggle.
There is no room in my tiny kitchen and yet there are too many of us crowded in there, laughing and sharing the task of getting food on the tables.

We effortlessly flow in and out from English to Spanish and back.
These people are sooo noisy!  (I love that.) =D

Pictures!  I take tons of pictures. The couples. The families.  The sisters. The cousins. The grandkids. My mom. The tables. The food.  (Yay!  Food pictures! =D)
We find our places and thank God for his generous provision once again this year.

After all the Thanksgiving festivities, they stay.

My son, Adam and my nephew, Al pick up their guitars.  My daughter, Lucy plays the piano.  We sing.  Yes, I know how goofy and dorky that must sound. But, I swear we do.

We leave the clean up for later.  It’s more important to spend time together.
The tables are cleared off after dessert.
“Bring out the cards!”
We play our favorite card game, Continental (a kind of rummy) for hours.  Hours!
My mom always wants to play for money and we all know this, so everyone brings lots of silver.

If it gets really late, someone will undoubtedly get hungry again, so we start making turkey sandwiches.
Or have more dessert.

The last few leave close to midnight.
I cannot imagine my life without them.  I feel genuinely rich.
These are the people who know me and love me and think I am okay.

My daughter, Amy made this video a few years ago.  It shows Thanksgiving with my big, fat Cuban family in my teeny, tiny house. =D  The song is from an old tv show and if I had my way, I would use it for every single video showing a family together.  (I’m a total dork that way.)

Because home is where everybody knows your name.

Happy Thanksgiving!

(Originally posted on MBFCF.)

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Click on the headline to see the post’s video if you’re seeing this from the homepage.

My father says that if you walked up to anyone in his tiny Cuban hometown and asked for El Manco, everyone would know exactly whom you were looking for. It also is likely hardly anyone would know the man’s real name.

“I don’t know if I ever even knew,” my father said, laughing.

Apodos. Nicknames. A Latin art form.

In my family we have Bombillo, Tete, Chino, Chicho and Cuca, to name just a few.

To a couple of my cousins I am Caca or Kaki and to others in my family I am Carilyn, Carucho or Cary. To my mother, I am Caridad! (With the exclamation point, mind you.) My birth certificate says “Carrie.”

So common and ingrained is the use of nicknames in my family, that when my great-uncle Pucho died this summer I had to ask my mom what his real name was. It was Raul. My whole life, he was just Tio Pucho.

Why do Latinos even bother naming their boys beautiful names like Guillermo or Alberto when they will only be known as Guille or Beto? Or, Guadalupe as Lupita or Charo (cuchi cuchi!) for Rosario. Some other common apodos: Pepe, Concha, Paco, Beto, Mano. You can see more here.

Or, what about the even higher art form of nicknames: Soccer player nicknames! Buitre (vulture), Polilla (moth), Tulipano Negro (black tulip). Oh, and the terms of endearment from childhood that follow you into old age: Gordita (see photo above), Bebita, Machito, Papito?

I put the call out this morning on Twitter and Facebook and asked our friends there for their nicknames: Chichi, Navaja, Pajaro, Bo, Raemoz, Nena, Cachito, Loca, Chango, and Joser, who also says he’s Doughboy. Alright!

OK, so what is your nickname? What fabulously, creative ones have you heard?

(disclaimer: That cute kid is wearing a Gordita t-shirt designed by my company, Los Pollitos Dicen.)

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Do you have the Monday Morning Blahs? I confess that I do.
But I also have the perfect cure…

Happy Monday!

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I got a press announcement recently about a new parenting book, and some good tips from the author: “5 Ways to Raise a ‘Good Enough’ Child.”

Among them: Let your child have his true feelings: help her not personalize criticism from others; go ahead, encourage individuality, and let her wear the pink tutu to church.

The suggestions fit right in with the other supportive parenting books I have read. And, there have been many, many, many. The announcement, and a quick recall of my large parenting library, got me thinking about how differently my generation of Hispanic-Americans parent the nenes. (When I was a kid, tutu to la iglesia? Yeah, right!). My mom has told me on more than one occasion that all Maria really needs is a good smack on the nalgas. I can’t do it, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about it. A lot.

I would be lying if I did not admit to fighting my inner traditional Latina mami and going all “eh, whatever, wah, wah, vete a chivar somewhere else!”

I mean, we turned out OK. Didn’t we?

Watch the video to see me fight my Traditional Latina Mami DNA. The English version is the calm, therapized mommy; the Spanish version is my reptilian brain, my origin…and I think the much more exciting Mami!

How are you raising your kids?

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This is a new version of a post and video originally published this week on Bilingual in the Boonies. This little sucker just won my household a new Toshiba laptop in a contest sponsored by the organizers of Latism. (Gracias!) If you don’t know about this three-city social media conference, go check it out. It is going to be awesome. Follow them on Facebook and Twitter to find out about future contests too.

And now…

Corporate CEOs, marketers and advertisers are atwitter about reaching Latinos online. You probably already know the stats and the whys, but the most honest reason: Dinero.

We have it, they want it.

And, in the interest of full disclosure before we go any further, I have a business and this blog created for the same reason. Viva el American dream!

But I think we, as a target market, are a big, hairy, scary monster.

Why? We’re every shade of human possible. Some of us are of native peoples, some of us are only of European background. Some are of Jewish descent and some of us have some chinito in us. Some of us speak Spanish, some of us don’t. Some have no idea what an arepa is, while others live for tripe on Sundays.

Personally, I subscribe both to Latina and Mother Earth. A Latina reading about sustainable agriculture? Shocking, I know.

Pity the marketers.

But, if you allow me some stereotype in the name of fun, watch the video for some truisms about why Social Media is perfect for reaching Latinos, a people who long ago perfected the Radio Bemba, the unfailingly good information distribution system of our gente.

-30-

Additional thoughts:

Check out the hilarious entry by El Jumping Bean, a most funny blogger.

And how about a group effort and list of reasons why social media is perfect for Latinos?

- No unspoken thought!

- Have you ever met a Latino who didn’t want to give you his opinion?

- Bilinguals! Twice the number of words. Twice the “reach.”

- (Your turn next!)

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