Worthy of Love
Wrong Men, Wrong Choices
by Sujeiry Gonzalez
Once upon a time there was a girl in her 20s who loved the wrong men.
The men she longed for were never available. Not emotionally or otherwise.
But they were fine.
Donning goatees and blessed with a nose with a long bridge, the squinty-eyed fellows caught Sujeiry’s attention instantly. She’s not half bad either. Her long and full hair can go from curly to straight. Her exuberant smile warms a room. And let’s not forget her tiny, yet round Dominican booty.
The story continues with a culprit – a bottle of Bacardi mixed with Coca Cola and bouts of insecurity. Drunk dialing was this 20-something’s poison. She’d stand on street corners and yell into her cell phone: “WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME!”
She sobbed on shoulders and crumbled on bar stools. She emailed long accusatory letters only to later regret her pendeja*a. You see, Sujeiry was once unsure of her worth.
And so she chose the wrong men.
Men who cheated. Men who didn’t reciprocate her love. Men who left her for the ghosts of exes past.
Those were her Love Trips – the journey and relationship stumbles that have led to the present moment where she realizes she is amazing.
Making Better Choices
I know I am amazing.
At 33-years-old, I make better choices. My experiences haven’t brought me down or embittered me. On the contrary, they have served a purpose. I am more aware of my actions and myself. I know the motivation and intention behind my words and choices.
No longer a naïve and insecure 20-something, I refuse to chase men. I demand to be courted and respected. See that cutie by the bar? If he digs me, he must approach me. If he wants to get to know me, he must wander over, stand beside me and talk to me. Offer me a drink (Bacardi and Coca Cola is still my favorite) and, before the night ends, ask for my number.
This wasn’t always the case. I wasn’t always this strong and wise. We all have our weak moments, don’t we? We, as women, often put ourselves second and third and fourth. We don’t always give ourselves enough value.
I was once that girl. A girl in her 20s who loved the wrong men.
Until she realized she is worthy of love.
Sujeiry Gonzalez is the author of “Love Trips: A Collection of Relationship Stumbles,” from a collection of columns for Blogger, MiGente and SiTV. Her comedic personality, unique voice and talent have led her to pen relationship highs and lows for Latina magazine and online sites such as SoLatina and Mamiverse. Find her stories, videos and much more on LoveSujeiry.com.
Un poquito mas:
Loved this
Loved the book
Thank you for sharing your story it’s one so many of us can relate to
Sujeiry, such an important message for so many women out there. Wishing you much love!
i have this conversation more than i care to or even should. the fact that i keep recalling my 20s is indicative of something. not sure what. in my 30s now, i’m definitely very in tuned with who i am, but still feel i make the wrong choices in a lot of areas. men is the ONE area I don’t have time to keep messing up in! Mami’s asking about kids, you know! :)
What a powerful post, Sujeiry! And it resonated with me, a woman who married young (23) and is still with him (15 years!). I will be 35 next month and I always tell people that I am *much* happier in my 30s than I ever was in my 20s. I was so insecure in my 20s in everything from asking my husband what I wanted to negotiating with the boss. It’s better to be older. :)
Thanks for this wonderful, post!
I love the honesty of this post. What a powerful message. Thanks, Sujeiry.
Sujeiry thanks for sharing, such a wonderful and powerful message for every girl out there!
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Such a powerful story you have shared. It take a lot to open yourself to help others through your own experiences. I hope your story will help many young girls make wiser choices.
Wow.. you don’t know how much this hits home for me! LOL. Great stuff, you have a new fan :)
It takes time to make better choices. Now, I’m proud to share the same feeling. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way. Nice article!
What a beautiful message! If only we could learn these lessons a little earlier in life. :)
I’m sending this post to all my lady friends…great post.
Great reminder for those of us raising daughters. Strong message and it’s great to know that you overcame it and are now giving yourself the worth you deserve.