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Wrong Men, Wrong Choices

by Sujeiry Gonzalez

Once upon a time there was a girl in her 20s who loved the wrong men.

The men she longed for were never available. Not emotionally or otherwise.

But they were fine.

Donning goatees and blessed with a nose with a long bridge, the squinty-eyed fellows caught Sujeiry’s attention instantly. She’s not half bad either. Her long and full hair can go from curly to straight. Her exuberant smile warms a room. And let’s not forget her tiny, yet round Dominican booty.

The story continues with a culprit – a bottle of Bacardi mixed with Coca Cola and bouts of insecurity. Drunk dialing was this 20-something’s poison. She’d stand on street corners and yell into her cell phone: “WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME!”

She sobbed on shoulders and crumbled on bar stools. She emailed long accusatory letters only to later regret her pendeja*a. You see, Sujeiry was once unsure of her worth.

And so she chose the wrong men.

Men who cheated. Men who didn’t reciprocate her love. Men who left her for the ghosts of exes past.

Those were her Love Trips – the journey and relationship stumbles that have led to the present moment where she realizes she is amazing.

Making Better Choices

I know I am amazing.

At 33-years-old, I make better choices. My experiences haven’t brought me down or embittered me. On the contrary, they have served a purpose. I am more aware of my actions and myself. I know the motivation and intention behind my words and choices.

No longer a naïve and insecure 20-something, I refuse to chase men. I demand to be courted and respected. See that cutie by the bar? If he digs me, he must approach me. If he wants to get to know me, he must wander over, stand beside me and talk to me. Offer me a drink (Bacardi and Coca Cola is still my favorite) and, before the night ends, ask for my number.

This wasn’t always the case. I wasn’t always this strong and wise. We all have our weak moments, don’t we? We, as women, often put ourselves second and third and fourth. We don’t always give ourselves enough value.

I was once that girl. A girl in her 20s who loved the wrong men.

Until she realized she is worthy of love.

Sujeiry Gonzalez is the author of “Love Trips: A Collection of Relationship Stumbles,” from a collection of columns for Blogger, MiGente and SiTV. Her comedic personality, unique voice and talent have led her to pen relationship highs and lows for Latina magazine and online sites such as SoLatina and Mamiverse. Find her stories, videos and much more on LoveSujeiry.com.